Hey there

Its been a while since my last words about the future of hellsCore. Some of you may know, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder a few years ago. For me it was clear as night something may not be "normal" on myself since my childhood. The first time I talked about wanting to die to my mother was at around an age of 5, as I had to go to the preschool and I couldn't get in touch with the other kids, nor was I happy to have so many people around me, since I tend to feel all the other people around me much more in myself than my own feelings. I tend to loose myself in this river of emotions and loose track of my own feelings, my own needs, like sleeping, eating, take a shower, etc. That's when I started to spend time on the old pc from my dad. And in the end, fast forward, it was also one of the reason hellsCore exists.

I try to break down some signs and symptoms I experience to get you an idea what it is. My life tends to take place in extremes. Emotional wise, "Oh this day may not be as bad" Few moments later: "Oh no, this day is horrible." Some other few moments later: "No problem, this day is easy".And it can switch from best to worst just in a few moments. Sometimes there are one or two hours where I could cry the whole time, but after some time it switches to a hyperactivity and I joke around like there was nothing. And this can go back and forth multiple times a day. People around me tend to intensifie this switching, or my mood in general. Its like I adapt my own energy to the energy of the room.

So what does this mean for hellsCore?

Like I said above, my life tends to take place in extremes. I started developing hellsCore as I was unemployed. Making kernels was a passion for me and because it was a passion of mine, almost all of my energy, many tears of frustration and nights full of self doubts went in this project. It burned me out. It was like a job for me, but I didn't get a paycheck for it. In the end not even a good paycheck is worth it if the job you are doing is slowly burning you out. Some identify themself about their job, for me it was my hobby. There was nothing else there, which could stop this war of thoughts in my head. The time I actually looked into the code, studiet it, learned more about kernel and searching for new stuff this war in my head was stopped. Supporting it was also quite some fun, too sometimes. But most of the supporting it was like fueling my self-doubts and this hate about my self ended in knife like thoughts, which in the end killed my inner fire, my passion to do kernel around the time I started my IT apprenticeship.

I had to cancel my apprenticeship, because I was in a very depressed episode of my bipolar disorder. Since December 3 I'm in a day clinic to go back and work again on myself and my stategies to deal better with this disorder.

The last two days actually were one of the best I had the last 7 months. And to be honest with you... I don't know what all this means for hellsCore. My passion for doing it is still not back and my priorities are on my own mental and physical health for the next months, maybe even years.

Thank you all for being part of a very fun, interesting and also exhausting and emotional part of my life. If I ever come back to make kernel, you'll hear about it.

I was inspired by a fellow patient of the day clinic to make this post. She has multiple diagnoses and to summary up what changed during her time of her recovery she runs a blog to give everyone insight in her process. She's a very strong human, but like me, she often doesn't know how much she is capable of. If you are intrested, she runs the blog in english, too: https://naeragiaimo.wixsite.com/naera-edrecovery

N6/N6P/Pixel/PixelXL

-merged june security update
-compiled with latest ubertc

Have fun!

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hells

N6/N6P/Pixel/PixelXL: May security update

-merged May security update

PixelXL kernel can also be flashed on the regular Pixel.


Pixel/PixelXL users please read:

May security update contains a new bootloader. It seems flashing the May bootloader will break TWRP/SuperSU. You will end in a boot loop if you try to flash it. A workaround seems to flash back April bootlader.

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Have fun!

hells

PXL: b7

-merged latest sdcardfs commits
-merged patches for several subsystems from android kernel common 3.18 repo

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Have fun!

hells

PXL: b6

-merged a few fixes to address some memory leaks
-merged a few optimizations for several subsystems - check git for reference
-compiled with latest ubertc (4.9 and 6.x)

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Have fun!

hells

N6P: b4

-reverted previous f2fs implementation
-re added f2fs and properly enabled in defconfig
-merged missing bits of april security update
-added a patchset for haptic feedback for better efficiency

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Have fun!

hells

PXL: b5

-merged linux upstream to linux 3.18.36
-merged new usb typec driver from android O preview source
-merged latest sdcardfs commits
-changed to anykernel2 (you won't lose TWRP anymore, but Root still gets lost)

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Have fun!

hells